This week has been absolute chaos. School started back up, so I have had to get used to being without Kannon for 8 hours. That might sound like it is not a big deal to some people, but I beg to differ. To be without someone who you know has depended on you for the last 4 and half months (and even before that if you count my pregnancy), is VERY tough. I wasn't even through half the day and I was already having my withdrawals. Besides that, my first day went great...all except for one thing. The only time I look forward to (my lunch) was ruined when my friend Lindsye and I were joined by a couple of the other radiology techs in the department. I don't mind meeting new people, conversing, getting to know them, etc. I actually really enjoy talking to people I have never met, getting their story, and trying to relate. It was what came after them joining us at the table that really frustrated me. Let's just say that the conversation at the lunch table didn't turn out the way I had expected it to go. Right off the back one of the tech's asked Lindsye and I...
Tech: "So what's yall's story? Do either of you have husbands or any kids?
Lindsye: "No husband, no kids, but I do have a boyfriend."
Tech: "Well that's good too. What about you?"
Me: "I have a both. My husband's name is Zach, and I have a 4 1/2 month old son, Kannon."
(And just like any mom would do...I pull out pictures to show him off...and what she said first caught me completely off guard.)
Tech: "Oh. Is he cross-eyed?"
If anyone knows me well enough, you probably already have an idea of what is crossing my mind. At first I was shocked and didn't know what to say...but then my motherly instinct got the best of me and what I was thinking wouldn't have been appropriate for me to say out loud. First of all, what adult says something like that? I understand people asking questions because they genuinely care and want to gain more understanding of the extent of Kannon's diagnosis. I honestly welcome questions and comments, and I am more than happy to offer any advice that I can. However, this was not the case here.
1) It was the VERY first thing she said. She could have at least led up to it a little bit.
2) Even if he is cross-eyed, don't point it out. He isn't your child. Thank goodness for that, because if she is concerned about little stuff like that, then she doesn't deserve to have a baby like Kannon.
3) What bothered me the most was that she sounded disappointed by it. A tone of pity filled her voice like he wasn't good enough. When in all actuality he is so much better than what she was imagining.
My biggest worry were the kids. They are cruel sometimes. They don't even realize that they are until they get older and wiser (and even then some still don't ever get it). The last thing I want is Kannon to come home upset because of kids picking on him...I NEVER expected that the first person to point out something would be an adult. Anyways, I continued the conversation like nothing had happened. Which I have decided it will be the very last time I let something like that slide, especially for those who should know better. I know there will be a lot of things said in the future, and some will probably even be said behind Kannon's back when he gets older. I really do dread the fact that I can't protect him from everything, but as for now I'm going to do what I can and let God handle the rest.
Update: Kannon has been doing great! He is eating and sleeping well! He weighs close to 15lbs now. He is still having seizures, and they seem to be getting a little stronger. Dr. said that it could be because we haven't reached the effective dose on his medication yet. So every week we are to increase his dose by .5 mL (without exceeding 6mL's) until they stop. His pediatrician got his appointment with the GI Dr. set up too. However, since that appointment isn't until November, she wants to get the ball rolling by beginning the tests that she can (stool sample, blood sample, etc.). She also got us set up with an Occupational Therapist to check out his swallowing. Kannon has difficulty eating sometimes. He usually ends up choking 2-4 times during a feeding. Sometimes he chokes throughout the day too, not just during feeding times. Besides that, he is doing awesome, and is a very happy baby boy! We are so blessed! I do have to brag a little bit though. We went to Langstons today, and of course Kannon stole the show. He was talking it up, and had all the ladies admiring just how precious he is. As all this was happening I felt sorry for that tech, and the fact that she couldn't look past the little things to experience how special Kannon and his story really is. Let's just say, today at Langstons made up for Monday's lunch. Those sweet ladies needed to teach that tech a valuable lesson.