Wednesday, August 25, 2010

If you could only imagine.

This week has been absolute chaos. School started back up, so I have had to get used to being without Kannon for 8 hours. That might sound like it is not a big deal to some people, but I beg to differ. To be without someone who you know has depended on you for the last 4 and half months (and even before that if you count my pregnancy), is VERY tough. I wasn't even through half the day and I was already having my withdrawals. Besides that, my first day went great...all except for one thing. The only time I look forward to (my lunch) was ruined when my friend Lindsye and I were joined by a couple of the other radiology techs in the department. I don't mind meeting new people, conversing, getting to know them, etc. I actually really enjoy talking to people I have never met, getting their story, and trying to relate. It was what came after them joining us at the table that really frustrated me. Let's just say that the conversation at the lunch table didn't turn out the way I had expected it to go. Right off the back one of the tech's asked Lindsye and I...

Tech: "So what's yall's story? Do either of you have husbands or any kids?
Lindsye: "No husband, no kids, but I do have a boyfriend."
Tech: "Well that's good too. What about you?"
Me: "I have a both. My husband's name is Zach, and I have a 4 1/2 month old son, Kannon."
(And just like any mom would do...I pull out pictures to show him off...and what she said first caught me completely off guard.)
Tech: "Oh. Is he cross-eyed?"

If anyone knows me well enough, you probably already have an idea of what is crossing my mind. At first I was shocked and didn't know what to say...but then my motherly instinct got the best of me and what I was thinking wouldn't have been appropriate for me to say out loud. First of all, what adult says something like that? I understand people asking questions because they genuinely care and want to gain more understanding of the extent of Kannon's diagnosis. I honestly welcome questions and comments, and I am more than happy to offer any advice that I can. However, this was not the case here.

1) It was the VERY first thing she said. She could have at least led up to it a little bit.
2) Even if he is cross-eyed, don't point it out. He isn't your child. Thank goodness for that, because if she is concerned about little stuff like that, then she doesn't deserve to have a baby like Kannon.
3) What bothered me the most was that she sounded disappointed by it. A tone of pity filled her voice like he wasn't good enough. When in all actuality he is so much better than what she was imagining.

My biggest worry were the kids. They are cruel sometimes. They don't even realize that they are until they get older and wiser (and even then some still don't ever get it). The last thing I want is Kannon to come home upset because of kids picking on him...I NEVER expected that the first person to point out something would be an adult. Anyways, I continued the conversation like nothing had happened. Which I have decided it will be the very last time I let something like that slide, especially for those who should know better. I know there will be a lot of things said in the future, and some will probably even be said behind Kannon's back when he gets older. I really do dread the fact that I can't protect him from everything, but as for now I'm going to do what I can and let God handle the rest.

Update: Kannon has been doing great! He is eating and sleeping well! He weighs close to 15lbs now. He is still having seizures, and they seem to be getting a little stronger. Dr. said that it could be because we haven't reached the effective dose on his medication yet. So every week we are to increase his dose by .5 mL (without exceeding 6mL's) until they stop. His pediatrician got his appointment with the GI Dr. set up too. However, since that appointment isn't until November, she wants to get the ball rolling by beginning the tests that she can (stool sample, blood sample, etc.). She also got us set up with an Occupational Therapist to check out his swallowing. Kannon has difficulty eating sometimes. He usually ends up choking 2-4 times during a feeding. Sometimes he chokes throughout the day too, not just during feeding times. Besides that, he is doing awesome, and is a very happy baby boy! We are so blessed! I do have to brag a little bit though. We went to Langstons today, and of course Kannon stole the show. He was talking it up, and had all the ladies admiring just how precious he is. As all this was happening I felt sorry for that tech, and the fact that she couldn't look past the little things to experience how special Kannon and his story really is. Let's just say, today at Langstons made up for Monday's lunch. Those sweet ladies needed to teach that tech a valuable lesson.


  1. Kannon is nothing less than perfect...and don't let anyone ever make you feel otherwise

  2. I don't think it's possible to think anything otherwise...he will always be perfect in my mind, and in my heart!

  3. A heartfelt 'hello' to you! I'm super happy to meet you. Thank you so very much for the sweet message on my blog. I'm excited to read all about Kannon. We were meant to be friends.

    Love, bree

  4. he is the most adorable special boy! i say that even having one of my own. my son is perfect too of course, but i know exactly how you feel about protecting kannon. it is sooo unfortunate that there are still adults who lack even the slightest tact , and she will be taught her lesson at some point in her life or at the pearly gates. i am so glad that you were blessed with him! you will make his journey through this life very special. you are sure doing great so far!!

  5. After working with adults and teaching children. I would take the children anyday! Kids may make comments but it's usually out of curiosity, older kids know better and for the most part interested in protecting those who need it. Adults who should know better can't seem to keep their mouths SHUT! Go to any child sproting activity and it's the parents who are being idiots! I think Kannon is precious, his little crooked smile is worth a million words. Keep your head up and don't ever let someone put down your baby boy!
    This is Donna Lewis from Jarman

  6. Kelli, I saw your introduction post on the ACC support group and clicked on your cute blog about Kannon. He is a cutie. I have a son who has complete Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum. I look forward to reading the new posts that you write on your blog and seeing all of the things that you share about your little boy.
    P.S. Welcome to the ACC Listserv :)

  7. Kelli, Kannon is absolutely gorgeous. I found out about your blog on the ACC Listserv. We're glad to have you, Zach, and Cannon as part of our Listserv family! I'm so sorry that Tech couldn't keep her mouth shut, but she apparently doesn't realize how blessed you truly are. Keep loving that beautiful little boy! Hope to talk more soon!
    Sam, mom to Nikki, 3 (C-ACC, Colpocephaly, and Epilepsy)

  8. I must respond about the insensitive tech that so bluntly and rudely made an unwelcomed comment/question. A long time ago I believe before my daughter (Brianna currently 3 with C-ACC and lots of other problems) was diangosed we went to a friends kids birthday party and one of my husbands friends asked me that exact question about Brianna! BUT he said it in a "making fun" type of way. I dont know how I didnt punch him. He said " oh sh!t is the baby crossed eyed? At the time she must have been about 3 months old and I did not know about her ACC or vision/eye problems (we now know she has severe astigmatism, is both near and farsighted, and has EXotropia meaning the opposite of esotropia instead of her eyes crossing inward her eyes wander outwards) I responded to him that all newborn babies do that as they cant focus their eyes well yet. His answer to that was even worse it was ... "oh good because I was gonna say that is so messed up if she was crossed eyed" Well NOW this 'friend' of my husbands still comes around (I dont know why my husband allows it) and he now gets to see that my 3 year old sill has and most likely will always have eye problems and he gets to see the obvious anormality with her eyes and trust me he now knows that if he were to dare say something he will get what he is asking for. Every time I see him I remember when he asked that question and it still makes me mad because he probably doesnt even remember because it meant nothing to him and if he does remember I hope he feels like crap. Because I will never forget it.

    Kannon IS perfect.

    HUGS,,,,, and welcome to the listserv.