Sunday, January 22, 2012

If I could write a letter...

I started thinking tonight while listening to the radio how rough the last few days have been. How the one person I felt like talking to was my mom...and while in the car I decided to think of all the things I would want tell her if I were able to write a letter...

It started with me. I would tell her about my graduation and how happy I was to be finished, but on that day one hug & kiss was missing and it belonged to her. I would tell her how the Holidays just aren't the same and how despite how hard we try not to, there is always tears. How I wish she were here to make me smile, because I've been so upset and down, because these past few days have been rough. I would explain to her how I need a hug and a date to pink swirls. I would ask her all kind of opinions on what to do about this and that. I would share with her all my new friends, and the one's that have faded. I would tell her about my new job, how I can make cakes like she used to, and I would ask her to tell me "Just breathe, Kelli, it will be okay." I would tell her thank you for visiting me in those 3 dreams.

Then it moved to Zach and Kannon, and I would share with her how well they are doing. How Zach is trying to work hard for his family, and how God chose an excellent husband and daddy for me. I would tell her ALL about Kannon. How he has progressed so much, and in an odd way Kannon can capture hearts in just an instant. How it's like they are drawn to him, and they support and understand him instantly. I would tell her that I know she's up there watching over him and know in my heart that she is his angel.

Then it moved to my sisters and my dad. I would tell her how a day doesn't go by that she isn't on their mind. That they miss, and love her forever and always. And that they
will always cherish her and how she will never be just a "memory". I would try to explain that she lives through them and a part of her is instilled in each one of us.

Then it moved to Taylor and Jace. Oh, how proud, how PROUD she would be to be called their Jan-ma. How Taylor has gotten SO big and is still her little girl. I would tell tell her how Taylor has held on to the relationship they shared and hasn't forgotten a thing. I would tell her all about Jace and what a little cutie his is. How he is so smart and definitely has a thing for sports. I would tell her that sometimes he gets so excited that he runs the bases with a football, and listen to her laugh again and again.

Then I realized I would tell her a lot...

If I Could Write a Letter
By Kelli Foster

If I could write a letter,
it would be 8,416 pages long.
I would tell you how much I miss you,
and might even write a song.

If I could write a letter,
it would surely make you smile.
It would tell you all our funny stories
and have you laughing for awhile.

If I could write a letter,
it would carry you our tears.
All the one's that we've held in
to overcome our fears.

If I could write a letter,
it would give you a big hug.
It would make up for those we've lost
and be warm, cozy, and snug.

If I could write a letter,
it would show you all you've missed.
It wouldn't leave our home
without it getting kissed.

If I could write a letter,
it would send you all our love.
I would wrap it up all cute,
and be delivered by a dove.


  1. My daughter has the same chromosomal aberration, mosaic tetrasomy 5P. She is 5 years old now, and I can see that you're going through many of the same things/experiences we've had, notably medical unfamiliarity with the condition. If you ever want to talk about some experiences we've had with her, feel free to email me at Not sure where you live, but we're in Detroit, MI USA. Thanks-Evan

  2. I find your blog and your attitude extremely inspiring. Kannon is so blessed to have you as his mother! I hope 2012 brings wonderful things to you and your family.