Hospital Update

Okay so I thought I might take the time to update everyone on Kannon while I have the time to do so since I have many wondering how he is doing. I will start from the beginning. Sunday: Zach, Kannon, and I all went to Quail Springs Mall after church. We weren't there 30 minutes when I noticed Kannon's hands (nail beds) looked blue. Panicking, I flipped open his stroller/canopy and his face was pale white and sweaty. I checked his feet and they were freezing cold and also had a blue tinge. I rushed over to Zach and had him look him over and we both left immediately. Driving 90 to nothing with our hazards on trying to get him home and on some oxygen. When we initially got home and put him on his pulse ox his oxygen saturation was 45% and continued to drop to 39%. Once we got him on oxygen we cranked it up to about 4 liters. Called his pulmonogist to tell him what was going on and he thought kannon might be having a bronchospasm (pretty much an asthma attack on roids) once we got him stable we were able to wean him down to 1 liter of oxygen. The next day Kannon still seemed to be pretty out of it, lethargic. I called the pulmonologist again and he asked us to bring Kannon in so he could take a look at him. When we got there he said Kannon sounded great, moving oxygen throughout his lungs. But he went ahead and had us get and x ray of his chest just to be sure there wasn't any pneumonia or something else. Turns out he had infiltrates in the left lung with a tiny bit of pneumonia, so he placed Kannon on an antibiotic and a steroid and we went home. That night he did well, still sounded great too. At 6:30am Tuesday morning he threw up his feeding. And then he threw up his feeding again at 10:30.  (We feed him every 4hrs on the ketogenic diet, sorry if I'm losing you here, but bare with me). At this point I am getting a little worried because on his diet he doesn't have much wiggle room for dehydration. Everything is SO strictly regulated it's borderline insane. No sugar, no carbs. But for his diet they like to keep his blood sugar in the 40-50 range to keep him in a "ketotic stage". That's to keep his seizures from getting out of control. So if he isn't able to eat because he is throwing up, we have bigger problems beginning other than just the usual dehydration. So at 12:30 we decide to give him pedialyte diluted with water to try and keep him hydrated, but diluted enough that we don't throw his blood sugar above 50 and take him out of ketosis. This typically isn't a feeding time, but we needed to get him some sort of fluid. And He kept it down. Hallelujah! Then, At 2:30 (which would be his next feed usually) I decided to check his residual. Which basically means I check to see if his stomach digested what pedialyte we gave him at 12:30p. And when I checked, he had pretty much the entire amount that I gave him at 12:30p still sitting in his stomach. Not digested. Just hangin out. So I can't give him 2:30, or else his belly will get too full and he will throw up once again. So he now has thrown up his 6:30am, 10:30am, not digested the 12:30pm, and missed the 2:30pm. So I called the pediatrician and asked to bring him in and maybe check him for the flu. So we took him and they ended up testing for flu, RSV, and strep. Positive for RSV....seriously? We were totally blindsided by that one. So we take him home, at this point teetering on the edge of admitting him in the hospital or not. Respiratory wise he sounded fantastic so we took him home and decided to give his 6:30pm feed and medications a shot. I fed him a very TINY amount (30cc's) of formula and gave him his seizure medications that he typically would get. So I checked his residual again after some time had passed by just to see if it was digesting, and I got more back than what I initially put in his stomach, which meant some of the 12:30 was still sitting in there, STILL not digesting! We called his neurologist and she said basically since his belly isn't digesting, he isn't getting obviously any nutrients and getting dehydrated, but he also isn't digesting ANY of his medications! So seizure meds, sick medications, nutrients.  And on top of all this, all day he has had a fever, that isn't going away. So to the hospital we go. That way we could put all meds (or most) through His IV. Through the night we didn't feed him anything at all. And he actually slept great, no restlessness. And his fever was gone. Then this morning at 6:30am we had to give him a seizure medication through his belly that couldn't be through IV. He tolerated it just fine. But then the next time we took his temp, it was back up again. So now we have a fever again. :( At 10:30am we decided to feed him formula, just a tiny bit, to see how he would tolerate it. He kept it down, but his belly started really bothering him again. He was unable to get comfortable and was restless, we could tell his belly was hurting just with that little bit in there. So they gave him pepsid (an acid reducer) to help with the agitation and within 15 minutes Kannon was able to rest. So because we still haven't been able to feed him really we had to check his blood sugar and it was at 30 (too low!) So we opted to give him 10cc's of pedialyte to help bring it back into range. And when they checked an hour later it was still at 30 again. So we gave him 15cc's of apple juice (something that's not too hard on the stomach, but should be enough to bring him within range again). All while this is going on we still have had a fever, and Tylenol isn't being digested through the belly, so we had to give it another way. Also, while this is all happening he is beginning to have more seizures. Probably from being sick, so it lowers the seizure threshold, and from his blood sugar being out of range, which can contribute along with other factors such as not eating, and the change and additions of new medications. So far we have had a total of 6 seizures today, most lasting 30 minutes, and that's with getting Valium and adivan. After we gave him the apple juice to help spike up his blood sugar, he started having a seizure again, and then started coughing at the same time, and just about threw up again (yup, all while having another seizure)...he managed to keep it down though. So we were able to check his blood sugar an hour later and it's now at 43. But we had to check it again in 2 more hours to make sure it was not going back down or if it was staying stable. We check his temp again and finally it is down, so no more fever again...and they just checked his blood sugar again and it came back 34, back out of range....so Since he isn't able to eat at all, the blood sugar, seizures, and fever are an on going battle. We have been communicating with kannon's dr's in houston. They are helping to keep Kannon regulated (as much as possible) on the diet, without actually receiving the food for it...and they are helping to give the right medications, what to watch for if he is abruptly taken off the diet etc. We are running labs in the morning to rule out any pancreatitis issues. So we are praying this all is just a major stomach bug, and that Kannon's belly is being stubborn. One thing I would like to point out...is Kannon has RSV pneumonia (!!!!) And he is kickin butt and takin names!! He has remained amazingly stable on just 1 liter of oxygen and saturation is consistently been100%. Everyone in the hospital is thrilled to see how well he is fighting this off respiratory wise, and We are too! Now, if only we can maintain that part of it, and get his little belly working right and eating good...much needed prayers tonight before you go to bed! He is our lil fighter and is doing so good despite all that his little body is exerting right now! So amazed at his strength.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If tomorrow never comes...The impact of those words are becoming more evident to me, and I feel like I understand them more than what I should for my age. This month of May has shaken me to the core and I feel like devestation and heartbreak can be seen at every angle. A lot of things have happened in just the last month that it's hard for me to even comprehend it, let alone write it all down. Some of you will be finding this all out via blog or facebook, and wonder why I didn't tell you all individually. Just know it's a lot easier being able to say this all at once, rather than have to retell & relive everything over and over. It all started with deciding on our own that we wanted to do the VNS (vagal nerve stimulator) therapy for Kannon. It is about an hour long surgery, and doctors will go in and place a small device under his left collar bone to help with his seizures. As you all probably already know, we are going about this very cautiously, making sure this doctor who is doing the surgery knew everything they needed to know about Kannon, and that they did their homework. So in the process of getting his surgery scheduled we decided we better get an MRI of his brain, and the entire spine since it would be a lot harder to get one with a metal device implanted in his body (which we will have to go to TX for if we ever needed another). On May 8th (a wednesday) we had an appointment with Kannon's orthopedic doctor. He came in the room and told me that Kannon had to have back surgery, there was no other way around it. That if we didn't then Kannon wouldn't live another 4-5 years at the rate of his scoliosis and growth of his lungs. They talked to me about the VEPTR surgery. They said it would be 3 hours long, Kannon would have an incision from his neck down to his bottom, and be placed on a ventilator. The VEPTR rods would start at the neck and anchor to both sides of the pelvis. In my mind, I'm immediately thinking, "there's no way this is going to happen, not to Kannon". I asked him about the recovery time for Kannon, and he stated it's different for every patient, and would probably be longer for a kid like him. I asked his doctor (in tears) "How would I feel as a mom, throwing my son into this 3 hour surgery, then him potentially not coming off the ventilator, and us losing him, knowing I could have had that 4-5 years or even more? Sometimes it's quality of quantity" and he proceded to tell me that in his profession "it's quantity over quality"...So immediately when I left there I started seeking a second opinion. Not necassarily a "second opinion" persay. I know something needs to be done eventually with his spine and throracic cavity, even if it is VEPTR rods...but at his age, and at his size, I didn't see it being the fit for Kannon. So our family sought out other hospitals online and are currently awaiting out-of-state approval for the number one pediatric hospital, and the number one pediatric orthopedic hospital--Children's Hosital of Philadelphia. Which has a "Thoracic Insufficiency Syndrome Center" and not to mention the doctor who invented the VEPTR rods. (yeah I know, right?)

The reason we want to go there is because they have ALL doctors, pulmonoligsts, orthopedic, orthopedic surgeons, neurologists, radiologists, everyone, who sits at a table together and goes over each patient, one by one, to see if this surgery is the right thing for them and whether or not their bodies can handle it. Kannon needs that, he doesn't just have one medical problem, there is a multitude of things that need to be looked out for. So cross your fingers, and say some prayers, because that's where we want to go and honestly I believe that's where Kannon NEEDS to be. 

One week later, May 15th (wednesday again) I got a call from Kannon's neurologist's secretary who wanted to make an appointment for us to come in the next day to go over Kannon's MRI images...I got an uneasy feeling and asked her "Is everything okay? We haven't had to be called in for images before" and she said "I'm sure if it was urgent she (the dr.) would have called you"....I got an eery feeling and knew from experience this wasn't just going to be any regular appointment. I still remember when mom got that same call to make an appointment for the next morning, and it was that day they told her she had stage 3 melanoma cancer. I just knew. Something was not right.

Tomorrow finaly rolled around and they called Kannon's name to come back into the clinic room. They sat us down, and Kannon's doctor shortly came in. 

And just a side note-- this doctor isn't just any other doctor. She is awesome. HANDS DOWN. You can tell there is something beyond just the "dr to patient relationship" there. She loves Kannon. 

I jumped in and said "I hope you have good news...we have had enough bad news lately!" She asked what all had been going on and I began to tell her all of it. I told her the orthopedic situation and even said "I know you're a doctor, but I hate it when someone tries to put a time limit on Kannon, to me it isn't a prognosis, it's a goal. Mom was given 4-6 months on a few separate occasions and every single time she beat it out. I believe only God knows when it's time." She agreed with me and told me she definitely believes in "quality over quantity" and always centers her treatments for every patient she has around "quality". She continues by saying "I wish I did have better news for you, and it breaks my heart to have to bring you in here today."

She went through Kannon's MRI of his brain, one by one, and explained to me the anatomy and what was going on. Everyone's brain has two layers, gray matter on the outside, white matter on the inside. Kannon has very little white matter anyways, a lot less than the norm. She went on to explain to me that Kannon's brain isn't getting protein it needs for his brain to function normally, so the little white matter that Kannon does have is in the process of deteriorating, also called demyelination. They compared the new brain MRI with his last one (which was when he was about a year old, and it didn't show any signs of demyelination) and have found that the rate of the deterioration of Kannon's brain in comparison is pretty significant. She told me he will begin to lose function of his muscles, including extremities, and then spread to other major organs, she also said the compromise is usually respiratory (the brain will stop telling the lungs to breathe), and given Kannon's history, it might be that way for him. And after all of what I told her about the orthopedic situation, I still asked her "how long do you think?" and she called me out on it, and said "honestly, I don't want to put a time on him either, but given what I see on his MRI, it's pretty significant."

I don't even know what else to say at this point, besides to ask you all for your prayers. We are still trying to let everything sink in ourselves...Just the thought of not having Kannon in our lives just devastates us, but I know in all this hurting, God has a plan. And on a side note, one thing that eases my mind a little is that when it's Kannon's time to go to Heaven, he is going to be greeted by one hell of a grandma.

Meet Jack.

Okay friends. Here is a story. I met this girl, her name is Brenna Reaves through a good friend of mine, Jade Judd. About 6 months ago Jade messaged me and told me about Brenna and her son Jack.

He is a twin, and precious at that.

I instantly fell in love, who couldn't? He is adorable. He has many similarities to Kannon. One in particular- Jack can't swallow, and he gets pneumonia....A LOT. Sound familiar? Kannon's first year of life he was hospitalized 9 different times for respiratory infections, most of those being pneumonia. Now, jack is on the same road.

He has been in the Pediatric ICU with RSV, and then later he also developed pneumonia. Now he is battling two very serious respiratory infections. He is struggling to breathe at this very moment you're reading this and it's heartbreaking, partly because our family has been there before. Not only are you helplessly watching a precious and innocent part of you battle for his life, but there is a lot more that comes with it than you can imagine. No sleep for no one, nasty cafeteria food, and being closed up in a small room to name a few...but under all of that, did I mention she has other kids? Jack is a twin, and his twin's name is Lily.

The two of them also have 3 older siblings. So five kids in all.

One of them with special needs. Oh and did I mention that when I first met Brenna, she told me her husband had just fallen from a cliff and shattered both of his legs and couldn't be weight-bearing for months?

It is kind of ironic how much our lives matched up, crazy actually.

-Both boys have Mickey buttons. Here's Jack, with his.

-We both have special needs babies, and both struggle with swallowing.

- Because of that, they both get sick A LOT and very easy, a cold always = pneumonia to our kids.

-When Jack has pneumonia, Kannon is well. When Kannon has pneumonia, Jack is well. So they have never gotten to meet. But are best friends through their moms.

-Brenna works in healthcare, and so do I (She is a nurse, and me an X-ray tech).

-Her husbands name is Zac, and my husbands name is Zach.

-Zac is a paramedic, one day wanting to be a firefighter. Zach is in the Fire Academy, and also wanting to advance to be a paramedic.

-Her mom passed away from cancer at 52, my mom passed away from cancer at 50.

I'm sure by now you get it...need I go on? Coincidence? Maybe, or just an act of God. I believe that for some reason God wanted us to meet and when we did, we had LOTS to talk about if you can imagine. I've grown to love this family, and to pray for them daily like I do my own.

This is a very personal post, but I feel everyone will better understand if I put it all out there. This kind of situation tests you in many areas, it tests your strength and your stamina, it tests your finances, it tests your marriage, it tests your self-control and management of priorities, and most importantly it tests your faith. Zach and I have been here, where we have had to ask our family and friends for help financially. It's no secret. And it definitely isn't easy to let your pride down, to realize that you are not going to be able to do this on your own, and hope others will listen and understand. To admit that you need help is difficult in any situation. We have put on many fundraisers and opened up a donation account for Kannon, and have had to raise money to pay bills, medical bills (there is a reason why they are separate, $115 electricity compared to $3, 000 medical), medical equipment, medications, groceries, gas, and the list goes on. Fortunately, people listened. We prayed and prayed about it, and our prayers were answered. Zach, Kannon, and myself are extremely blessed to have the love support that we do from friends and family and even complete strangers willing to help in an extreme time of need. Here is Brenna's post on Facebook, asking for help. And all I'm asking is to think about how hard this situation is for her family, think about how hard it was for her to write this post...and think about how hard it would as a parent to raise 5 kids, one special needs whom is sick and in the hospital for numerous times for consecutive days in a row. There is no time for a job. Her priority right now is being a great mother and wife...keeping the family above the water.



"Docs just left. I'm gonna give a quick update then I'm gonna ask for your help. Those of you that know Zac and I personally know how hard it is for us to ask for help.
They are gonna give Jack 24 hours to try and see a significant improvement in his left lung. Gonna try a neb called pulmozyme which can help break up the sticky secretions in his lung. Then we have to pat on him vigorously and hope he coughs hard enough to suction him out. Also gonna try a form of CPAP. This will hold a bit of positive pressure constantly in his lungs to help hold them open to loosen that crap up. Much like a dog hanging his head out a moving car's window-positive constant pressure. Thing is, that is a little cup that goes over his nose with a head gear to hold it on. Try explaining this to a 9 month old. He has to NOT fight it. If this does not work in 24 hours they will put a tube down his throat and use fluids to try and flush the left lung out. as weak as Jack is and as aggressive that procedure is, docs say he'll end up on a ventilator. Then they're worried about him ever coming off the ventilator. Here's my asking for help....
I'm getting ready for work as we speak. Zac is gonna relieve me. Neither one of us have worked this week. But we have to a little obviously to pay bills. I'm only working 12-6 which is half my shift but can you imagine leaving him now?? We need help financially to stay with him. A friend set up an account under Jack Reaves at Bank of the West on S. 89th between S. Penn and S. Western. Or Paypal and choose brennarn@cox.net as the recipient. Anything you can spare helps. I'll pay it forward anyway I know how. Thank you, friends. Love."



They need your help in any way, shape, or form. I pray that Jack comes home healthy soon, and that those who helped us when we needed it most will also extend their hand of grace and generosity even further to help Kannon's best friend. Despite our finances, we will give to them what we can, and I ask that everyone else will to.

Money can be donated to any Bank of the West location in Jack Reaves's name. Locations in Oklahoma are as follows: Midwest City, Norman, 89th and Penn, Ada, and Seminole. You can also donate by going to PayPal (If you use this route please select the "gift" option so Jack gets the full 100% you are giving, and PayPal doesn't take away 3% for fees). The recipient on PayPal is Brennarn@cox.net

"All must give as they are able, according to the blessings given to them by the Lord your God."

Deuteronomy 16:17

Rain Drops & Banana Splits

"When in rains, it pours"...or "it gets worse before it gets better"...now that's a couple of sayings that I've heard too many times in the past couple of years. And every time someone would tell me that it would just linger in the air...now that can't be the most positive outlook on life can it? I remember being a junior in high school and going through a life-changing and growing experience that really changed my outlook on life. It was the first moment I truly realized down to the core that this thing we all called "life" wasn't so perfect as what I had always pictured. In other words, I wasn't going to be the winner of the MASH game and live in my mansion with my 4 kids, 2 dogs, and my red ferrari.  Every one of us eventually has that moment, and some experience it sooner than others. I had mine at 17. At the time I wasn't so happy about being so young to feel like my life had just flipped upside down. However, looking back, I'm glad I experienced what I did at that age. I was young, immature, and selfish just like most teenagers :) . But it was shortly after all that when I realized there was something more to life that I had actually been missing the whole time. I had been blindsided by all the worldy desires and my heart had been brainwashed into following some dreams that didn't matter. Things that I had made a high priority in life no longer mattered as much. I got to go to my first Christian concert about a month after my "perfect world" toppled over (Third Day to be exact--and a very awesome Christian band by the way). They started playing a song I wasn't familiar with (I had never listened to Christian music before) and I knew and felt in that very moment that I needed to change my heart--and I prayed a very long and very tearful prayer that night. I decided I wanted to be more humble, more forgiving, a nicer person, and more optimistic on life. I decided I wanted to lead by example, and learn and focus more about others rather than trying to focus so much on myself and what I always wanted. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect and that I do all of those things all of the time. I still have my weaknesses, but at the same time I'm still grounded. I know where my heart lies--and that's with the Lord.  So I got saved at 17 and a couple months later was baptized at Meadowood Baptist Church. And seven years later I'm still able to thank God for that tough time because it led me to Him. One of my favorite series at Life Church (the church I attend now & probably will forever) was the "WHY ME?" series. Our pastor touched on a lot of hard questions and preached to us about how God can use our tough times to lead us to do good things and to be good examples. I even remember being in highschool and my mom telling me "sometimes we have to go through tough times, so we can see the good ending"---I didn't understand it so much at the time...but she was right on target! There have definitely been some tough times in my life and I'm sure a lot more to come down the road, but my hope and positivity comes from God's promises. In the Bible Psalm 34 17-18 says "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Through my life and all the obstacles that have come with it, there have been many times where I have been so brokenhearted and have turned to those four lines. The other day I was driving in my car and a song came over the radio called "Blessings" by Laura Story. It finally gave me a whole new outlook on the raining and pouring saying I mentioned in the beginning of this post. Sometimes that saying can be taken in a negative connotation that when one bad thing happens, numerous ones are to follow. In this song Laura Story sings about our blessings and how they are often in disguise. The chorus of the song is 

Cause what if your blessings come through raindropsWhat if Your healing comes through tearsWhat if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're nearWhat if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

And my favorite part...

What if my greatest disappointmentsOr the aching of this lifeIs the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfyWhat if trials of this lifeThe rain, the storms, the hardest nightsAre your mercies in disguise

Some of my rain drops I didn't understand, but do now. Some of them I was even scared of, but not anymore, and I've even had some that I wasn't proud of, but I am now. Let's take Kannon for example. Before he was here he was the biggest and scariest rain drop I'd ever seen coming at me....but it turned out he was the most innocent, precious, and sweet little rain drop (that came with 11 little piggies, busy hands, and blue glasses) that I'd always wanted! We don't take a day for granted with our little drop. Which leads me to my next part of my blog....banana splits! Sounds yummy right? If you haven't seen it on yahoo today or on Facebook here is the story of a mom who's son has down syndrome. Her and her husband have recently signed a DNR after finding out from the doctors that they could no longer do anything for Ryan's (the little boy) congenital heart defect. The one thing she asked is for parents to not take one single day for granted with their kids....to let them eat a banana split for dinner. SO they are having a banana split party for Ryan and would like everyone to post a picture with their kids eating their dessert for dinner! So with that being said, let's have a little fun with our little rain drops and go eat a banana split for dinner! We did! :)

To read about Ryan's Story click here 

Kannon got chosen to be one of Helmer's Heroes this past week! Bryan Helmer is a team captain of the OKC Barons National Hockey Team! He was such an awesome person to get to meet and chat with. Here is some more information about Helmer's Heroes . It is actually pretty inspiring and talks about Bryan Helmer and his wife starting the program after their daughter was diagnosed with a severe blood disorder. You should definiely check it out :)

Kannon on the JumboTron! They read a little bit about him then interviewed Zach and I.

Kannon and I holding onto his ice cold hockey puck!

Zach, Me, Bryan Helmer, and Kannon Ball!

My two loves :)

Kannon...trying to figure out what this thing is...

Kannon doing what he loves! Snoozing!

Kannon's Bryan Helmer pin! #1 fan right there!

You Steady My Heart by Kari Jobe

You Steady My Heart


Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy
Why is pain a part of us
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so much

But You're here
You're real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart

I'm not gonna worry
I know that You got me
Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What's good and what gets broken
Happens just the way that You plan

And I will run to You
You're my refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart

If I could write a letter...

I started thinking tonight while listening to the radio how rough the last few days have been. How the one person I felt like talking to was my mom...and while in the car I decided to think of all the things I would want tell her if I were able to write a letter...

It started with me. I would tell her about my graduation and how happy I was to be finished, but on that day one hug & kiss was missing and it belonged to her. I would tell her how the Holidays just aren't the same and how despite how hard we try not to, there is always tears. How I wish she were here to make me smile, because I've been so upset and down, because these past few days have been rough. I would explain to her how I need a hug and a date to pink swirls. I would ask her all kind of opinions on what to do about this and that. I would share with her all my new friends, and the one's that have faded. I would tell her about my new job, how I can make cakes like she used to, and I would ask her to tell me "Just breathe, Kelli, it will be okay." I would tell her thank you for visiting me in those 3 dreams.

Then it moved to Zach and Kannon, and I would share with her how well they are doing. How Zach is trying to work hard for his family, and how God chose an excellent husband and daddy for me. I would tell her ALL about Kannon. How he has progressed so much, and in an odd way Kannon can capture hearts in just an instant. How it's like they are drawn to him, and they support and understand him instantly. I would tell her that I know she's up there watching over him and know in my heart that she is his angel.

Then it moved to my sisters and my dad. I would tell her how a day doesn't go by that she isn't on their mind. That they miss, and love her forever and always. And that they

will always cherish her and how she will never be just a "memory". I would try to explain that she lives through them and a part of her is instilled in each one of us.

Then it moved to Taylor and Jace. Oh, how proud, how PROUD she would be to be called their Jan-ma. How Taylor has gotten SO big and is still her little girl. I would tell tell her how Taylor has held on to the relationship they shared and hasn't forgotten a thing. I would tell her all about Jace and what a little cutie his is. How he is so smart and definitely has a thing for sports. I would tell her that sometimes he gets so excited that he runs the bases with a football, and listen to her laugh again and again.

Then I realized I would tell her a lot...

If I Could Write a Letter

By Kelli Foster

If I could write a letter,

it would be 8,416 pages long.

I would tell you how much I miss you,

and might even write a song.

If I could write a letter,

it would surely make you smile.

It would tell you all our funny stories

and have you laughing for awhile.

If I could write a letter,

it would carry you our tears.

All the one's that we've held in

to overcome our fears.

If I could write a letter,

it would give you a big hug.

It would make up for those we've lost

and be warm, cozy, and snug.

If I could write a letter,

it would show you all you've missed.

It wouldn't leave our home

without it getting kissed.

If I could write a letter,

it would send you all our love.

I would wrap it up all cute,

and be delivered by a dove.